Day 1 of 90

Hi all,

Some of you know me, some of you don't.  Doesn't matter.

Anyone can relate to what I write in this kind of arena.

The last time I remember being 165lbs and SMOKIN' HOT I might add, is 2001.  It is now 2014 and I am over 200lbs.  No reason except not making the right choices and letting my previous depression dictate to my mind what was right for me.

I have been over 200lbs for 10 years.  I might be lying about the extra few years but I can't remember when I wasn't over 200lbs unless I think back to when I was literally starving while living on my own.  Work didn't cover much for food and my transportation was my feet and the bus.  That'll whip anyone in to shape in a sprawling concrete jungle.

I never, ever, thought I would get this big; thinking how awful it would be if I did.  I used to be able to eat anything I wanted, carbs, carbs carbs, sugar, sugar, sugar - - - and then get up in the morning and do it again if I wanted to.  But then I was in every sport I could be in, I didn't drive, I walked or biked everywhere, and I was swimming often.  That connection didn't click until this week.

I even competed as a lane swimmer and a synchronized swimmer when I was younger.  Believe me, that type of competitive athleticism doesn't allow room for junk food, there was a time when sugar wasn't part of my diet that much.

But I let that be a part of my mind set far after I dropped out of the things I was successful at.  I had an awful teenage rebellion and then my attitude got the best of me.

It's time I took my body, mind and health back.  I already saved my soul by finding true love, that was my life hack.

So in order to keep myself accountable for what I'm doing, I am starting this daily diary of my routines without apology.  Every day it will be kept up, and every day I will list what I'm eating and doing to work out.  I may or may not have a cheat day.  I'm afraid of the cheat days because of the fact that I might just get lazy enough to create a cheat week.

If I want to fit in to my wedding dress, I can't have too many of those now can I?

I know wedding the dress style I want and I absolutely, will NOT, fit in to it at the size I'm at now.

So.

Day 1: 210lbs (lost 5lbs already)

Breakfast: Pan fried bacon, mini pancakes, turkey breakfast sausages.
Lunch: pasta
Dinner: pasta (left overs from a casserole)
Green tea, coffee, water, OJ, milk.
Snacked on chips and a kitkat.

Ugh.  Okay I need to make this a better balance.  And COMMIT to this.  I'm finding that this is exactly like quitting smoking, I'm waffling instead of actually fucking doing it.  Time to change that for a start.

How about this: cereal in the morning.  Sammich for lunch.  A chicken dish for dinner.   That sounds normal.  Perhaps a protein shake before or after my jog?

Work out today: around a 35-45 minute walk to the mall & back.  17 crunches but done in a separated rep tally and each different muscle groups.  Chair sit ups, regular sit ups. 5lb weights each hand, squats, and overhead lifts.  I was going to attempt V-Ups but my stomach warned me of certain up chucking.  I know I should power through that though, so tomorrow I'll take my time and do it all.  I found this amazing ab work out list on-line and I've begun to apply it.  So far I feel that I can do most of the list but some of it is extremely hard to get coordinated with.  I'm already fairly clumsy. . .but I will work on it.

I KNOW in my heart that I CAN do this, I just need to keep reminding myself that this is a lifestyle change not an over night fix.  

"[The key to] transformation is to fall down seven times, and get up eight." - Chris Powell.